Women’s Lib ♀

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The Truth About Slumber Parties and Pure Romance

Published March 16, 2019 by Paradise Kendra
The best thing I ever did was join Slumber Parties. The second best thing I ever did was leave Pure Romance.

Before Slumber Parties, I didn’t have any place I felt I could have any pride in my sexuality. In a culture so hellbent on turning sex into a health risk, it’s nearly impossible to find a place where sex is passionate, fun, and romantic.

I was so surprised by how I was treated when Pure Romance took over. I had technical issues with Pure Romance’s website for almost four months and spent endless hours on the phone with corporate headquarters. The first thing one of their employees said to me was, “We’re going clean you guys right up.” I thought to myself, “You sure have an awful lot of butt plugs in your product line to make a statement like that.”

I’m still stunned by that statement. My jaw is still on the floor lol. I don’t mean to point fingers but a company who names a product “Come Clean” shouldn’t really be talking.

On top of that, the removal of the red and black, the censorship of the language and the products we could no longer demo, the new standardized, micromanaged format we were taught to manage our business in, it began to wipe away the sexual liberation that Slumber Parties had given me. I remember calling corporate to stress that this was my company, and I required a little more autonomy than they were providing. They told me, “It is your company, but you have to run it the way we tell you to.”

They objected to team meetings being hosted at a consultant’s house. They wanted us to rent out conference halls. I said, “So you don’t want us to host in-home party meetings….in someone’s home?” They objected to us having inventory shipped to our home address. They preferred we rent a P.O. Box at our local post office. They restricted the products that we could advertise on social media (i.e. the vibrators) and they insisted we use hashtags in our posts so we could be more easily “tracked by corporate”. In addition we were supposed to advise our clients on the kind of gynecological services they should receive — and this was during parties! I watched women walk out of parties in defiance when consultants would get to the gynecological portion of the demo. By this point, it was all too much.

I was in that same patriarchal setting I had been in before Slumber Parties.

It was time to leave.

I had my Pure Romance kit fully in tact and I drove to a fellow Slumber Sister’s house to exchange my PR products with some of her Slumber inventory. Through the discounts, I was able to acquire Slumber products that would’ve taken me months to years to gather as a consultant. I was SO happy. This consultant was one of the leading consultants in Virginia so she had EVERYTHING. I was in hog heaven, surrounded by all things Slumber Parties. And in a way, helping a SP sister unload some of her Slumber inventory and providing her PR products that would help her business was EXACTLY what I loved about being a part of Slumber Parties. We were there to help each other and magically, when one consultant helped another, it helped us all. Kim Henagan Brecheen Pitslata, you should be so PROUD of the business structure you created. ❤️



I was so enthusiastic about every Slumber product (lots of yayyys and oh my gods!) that the consultant said to me, “Your enthusiasm reminds me of why I do this for a living. I needed to remember that. Thank you.”

I drove home with a car full of Slumber products that provided me an inner joy that had not been there on my way down with a car full of Pure Romance products.

I felt a sense of liberation and slight rebellion as I drove past people who had no idea that I had a penis shaped yoga ball in my backseat. The playfulness was back. The fun and the freedom were a part of me again.

I rolled down the windows and turned the music up, exhaling with relief. I knew that I would never forget how I felt in that moment and I promised myself that someday, I would be in my car again with products as fun as these in the backseat, and I would be on my way to a party. 🎉 🎈 🎊

Published November 25, 2018 by Paradise Kendra

grandegyptianmuseum:

“In today’s political landscape, female rulers are few and far between, But thousands of years ago in ancient Egypt, women reigned supreme, controlling the authoritarian state as power brokers in times of war and peace. Even with their success, these political masterminds were just as often used as pawns in a patriarchal society. Through the seductive lens of six remarkable female pharaohs―including Hatshepsut, Nefertiti, and Cleopatra―celebrated Egyptologist Kara Cooney explains how these women ruled and what made ancient Egypt unique among history’s greatest empires. Her remarkable book illuminates the complexities of their unusual power―and why its like has never been seen since.”

When Women Ruled the World: Six Queens of Egypt, by Kara Cooney

The Truth Behind My Resignation from Virginia NOW

Published October 10, 2018 by Paradise Kendra

My Fellow Virginia NOW Officers & Members,

10/10/2018

It is with deep regret that I inform you that my 15-year-relationship with the feminist community has come to an end.

In May of 2018, when the newly elected President and Vice President of Virginia NOW locked me out of the Virginia NOW website (which was my intellectual property as well as Dr. Simone Robert’s and my original creation), the Virginia NOW Facebook Page, my communicationsvp@vanow.org email account, and out of Constant Contact – all without informing me of their plans beforehand nor acknowledging my 15 years of service to the organization, I knew I had to act quickly.

On September 1st, I mailed an official cease and desist letter, requesting that all of my content be removed from the website. Many feminists have been in the situation where for one reason or another, they were forced to resign and others took credit and ownership of their work. I was adamant that I would not let this happen to me. So after endless hours on the phone with my lawyer, staying up at night writing drafts, and asking my favorite Virginia NOW president, Diana Egozcue for her help, it finally worked. If you look at www.vanow.org, everything of mine is gone.

It’s painful for me to look at, and I have tears in my eyes because such a huge part of my life is gone now, but I am also so relieved. I am so glad that I stood up for myself and actively opposed this kind of treatment towards women when I could have saved myself an awful lot of time just “letting it go”.

I want to thank Dr. Simone Roberts for working with me for the first three years on the Virginia NOW website, which was such an incredible creation. I thank her for entrusting me with all of her content when she needed to move on from Virginia NOW. A part of me feels like I let her down because I couldn’t keep her beautiful website contributions safe in the exact format they were in, but I will always appreciate her solidarity and her faith in my integrity.

I want to thank Katie Regan, my second Virginia NOW web editor, for sticking with me until the very end.

Most of all, I thank Diana Egozcue, the President of Virginia NOW during my 10 years as Communications Vice President, who will always be Virginia NOW’s President to me. I would not have been able to stand up for my content without her alliance. She spent so much time listening to me and strategizing with me, and in the end, we stood up for something genuine. *huge enormous hug*

I will always be grateful to my years with Virginia NOW and the incredible women and men I met along the way. This has been such an ugly, traumatizing experience that it has pretty much ended my entire relationship with the feminist community, but in a way, that’s a good thing. I have been neglecting my own advancement in life in the dedication of women’s liberation. It is now time for me. I now have the opportunity to put all of that love and energy into my own life, and hopefully, thrive.

I am thankful to all of my fellow officers and members who supported and cheered me on in reclaiming my intellectual property. I will find a way to restore what has been lost, in a bright, new way.


In Love and Revolution,
Paradise

“If I can’t dance, I’m not coming to your revolution.” – Emma Goldman

♦️ Virginia NOW Communications Vice President (2012-2018)
♦️ Webmistress (2013-2018)
♦️ Virginia Foremothers Oral History Project Founder (2013-Present)

Also See: Changing of the Guards ~ Communications Vice President Paradise Resigns


Changing of the Guards ~ Paradise Resigns From Virginia NOW

Published May 17, 2018 by Paradise Kendra

My Fellow Virginia NOW Officers & Members,
5/15/2018

It is with deep sadness that I inform you I will no longer be serving as an officer of Virginia NOW. I have been with this organization since I was 15 years old and it has been a remarkable journey. It has my privilege to grow up with Virginia NOW and it has been my privilege to know all of you. I will miss you dearly.

The two things I am most proud of during my time with Virginia NOW are the creation of the first ever Virginia NOW website and founding the Virginia Foremothers Oral History Project, where I was introduced to the most inspirational women I could ever hope to be in the presence of. It has been my greatest honor to assist in the preservation of their stories in both video and audio format.

In light of recent events under new management, I will be needing to find a new home for the Virginia Foremothers Oral History Project. Perhaps a women’s history museum would be appropriate. I will also be needing to find a new home for the content of the website I created for Virginia NOW. As I will not be a part of the upcoming website redesign, I will be endeavoring to find the best way to continue to share with you all of the information, tools, and resources that I built into our current website.

I would like to thank my web editor, Katie Regan, for her friendship, solidarity, and her support.

I must carry on now. I wish you all great happiness and joy in your present and future endeavors. Be well, always.


In Love and Revolution,
Paradise
Virginia NOW
Communications Vice President ♦️ Webmistress

“If I can’t dance, I’m not coming to your revolution.” – Emma Goldman